i don’t know the lyrics.

i have this awesome habit of singing along to songs, mostly in the car, regardless of whether or not i know all the words. when i’m by myself, it doesn’t really matter, because whatever the words are in my head, they’re right. no one is there to correct me. when i’m with Mister Man, it’s a different story. he happens to know the lyrics to every single classic rock song ever made. he always knows who sang them too. the way his brain works is mystifying.

anyway. i take the bus to work, so if i’m in the car, it’s generally with my husband going somewhere together. because we love each other, i have no issue singing my heart out in front of him. apparently, i can be pretty entertaining when i want to be. and really bad at guessing what the words to most songs really say. the scenario usually goes something like this: i start confidently singing the words to a song, and at a certain point, Mister Man turns to me and asks me what i just said. i repeat the lyrics i just sang and he stares at me for a moment. then he usually says, “you know the real words are actually (insert correct lyrics), right?” i never do. i am that confident in my absolute knowledge. of everything.

here are a few examples of the most memorable/longest running mistakes i’ve made. neither of us can stop singing ‘the stroke’ the wrong way (or the best way, depending on how cool you are).

‘lido shuffle’  by boz scaggs: my lyrics = “freedom! ooooOOOoooo”, real lyrics = “ledo! oooOOOoooo”

‘the stroke’ by billy squier: my lyrics = “strong and stumpy.”, real lyrics = “stroke me, stroke me.”

‘hold on loosely’ by 38 special: my lyrics = “hold on lucy!”, real lyrics = “hold on loosely!”

i would like to state for the record that i have always gotten the lyrics right for the song ‘tiny dancer’ by elton john, and so am not completely hopeless.