life lived thoughtfully

life lived thoughtfully. volume three.

can we get honest here for a moment? like, really, truly, honest?

i have not been myself this last month. i’ve flaked out on friends (sometimes with reason, sometimes because i’m terrible), i’ve let balls drop that i normally would not, and i’ve been a less than stellar wife.

i’ve had things not turn out as planned, and been disappointed in myself and things happening around me. and i’d like to say i responded with grace and a lot of patience, but i didn’t. i responded with a cranky attitude and far too many bad moods to mention for fear of you all seeing me in a different light.

my husband has taken on far more than his share of things to make up for where i’ve been lacking, and his life hasn’t been any easier than mine…we’re partners living this life together after all. but while he’s been living it thoughtfully, i’ve let my thoughtfulness get lost in the shuffle.

so there is no story this month about buying coffee for the car behind me, no thoughtful metaphor on how happiness can be found by doing things for others. just some real talk about how sometimes, even when we try to focus on it, thoughtfulness is not easy or welcomed. i don’t want to be one more person talking about how all you have to do is make thoughtfulness a priority and it magically changes your life to make you a better wife + friend + mom + person. it doesn’t. the journey to a life lived thoughtfully comes with progress that can sometimes be backwards.

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but we can still take that journey. instead of being discouraged, i’m turning towards a fresh start in this advent season, this waiting season. time for more focus on how i can offer up my disappointment as a sacrifice to that holy one who offered Himself up for us. if He can be born a child in a manger, i can surely do the dishes with a happy heart. if He can die for me, i can be content with my disappointments, knowing that there is more ahead planned out for me.

here’s to finishing out the year on a better note. a more thoughtful note. here’s to ending 2015 with the happiest heart i can.

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life lived thoughtfully. volume two.

hi. how are you all? you good? i hope you’re good. i’m doing great, thank you for asking!

as i cozied up to write this post (pumpkin beer and chocolate in hand), it was kind of a trip to look back at the last month with this “thoughtful” lens on. i mean, october was a fairly uneventful month, all things considered, but when i try to find the little pieces where i was maybe a little more present or a little more engaged, there are so many! i think this whole #lifelivedthoughtfully thing is working!

one the best kickstarters for me in this has been the #morethanaframe community on instagram that is back for its second round. started by cassie and amber, it is just the best tool to help you sit back and reflect on how to view the ordinary parts of your life as extraordinary. it really helps me slow down in my day to day to see where the special moments and reflections are happening, and sometimes that’s all i need…to slow down and look around.

one of the happiest times had to have been halloween weekend. that was the weekend that i got to see both of these things happen:

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my grandpa turned 90 years old on halloween, and i got to see my daughter hug her great-grandpa. let’s be clear, she is not a hugger, so this hug lasted for about three seconds, but it happened! how cool is that? how cool that they get to know each other? to be able to see that in my life is something that i hope i never take for granted. i may not have gone to any parties or eaten my body weight in candy (probably for the best), but this halloween was one for the record books.

i’ve also been focusing a lot more of self-care since i realized that i hadn’t been focusing on it at all. and it’s been great! for me, that means making time for working out, and for writing, even when Mister Man is traveling. if that means i haul miss Amelia to the gym childcare on one of my days home with her, that’s what i do. if that means saving the dishes until later so i can work on a blog post or a journal entry, that’s what i do. i’m trying to get out of my own head a little bit so i can do what recharges me. i’m always better when i’m recharged. if i get too burnt out, i tend to get a little cranky (read: bitchy) and frankly i’m not much fun to be around. do i feel bad if Amelia cries when i leave her in the child care? yep. do i feel guilty for not cleaning like i should? you bet. but if it means i’m a better mom and partner at the end of it? worth it.

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i don’t know what these posts will look like in the coming months. they might be photo essays, they might be reflections, if i get real zesty, i might just throw a vlog in there (would that be the weirdest? if i vlogged?). whatever it ends up looking like, i want it to be a place where i can assess how i’m doing with this thoughtfully lived life i’m trying to create. there could be some times where i haven’t done so well, and i want to write about those too, because it’s real and it happens.

you’re all pretty amazing people, so if you have any suggestions for how you live a thoughtful life, i always want to hear them. i can always use some inspiration with things like this. strength in numbers can never hurt, right?

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