anatomy of a translation.
years ago, i got this wacky idea in my head that i wanted a way to keep my spanish skills semi-intact, because my job didn't have anywhere that i could use it. plus i love the spanish language. plus it seemed like a waste to have a degree in the damn subject and never use it.so i started researching online translation programs and ended up getting into the spanish-english translation certificate program through NYU. this would be a cooler story if i actually went to NYU for this, but, you know, things happen, you meet your future husband and he moves to iowa for a while, and moving to NYC just isn't in the cards. you do what you have to do for love, people! including online classes.so for the last 3.5 years i've been slogging through financial and literary and journalistic translations. teaching myself, doubting myself, hating myself for making this decision. and now i'm just four short weeks away from having a piece of paper that says i'm good enough, i'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me! and they should trust me with their translation work.i actually really like translating, but sometimes most of the time homework is the last thing i want to be doing. so i thought i'd give you all a little peek into what it's like to do it. the anatomy of a translation, if you will.
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monday: print out assignment. read the title of the document you need to translate and set aside.tuesday: think about opening a new word document to start your translation. don't do anything about it.wednesday-friday: forget you are even taking a translation class and do nothing.friday, 10:00pm: remember that you have a translation due in two days. set your alarm for 8:00am on saturday.saturday, 8:00am: snooze.saturday, 8:10am: snooze.saturday, 8:20am: snooze.....saturday, 9:20am: drag your bootie out of bed. splash water on your face. don't brush your teeth because it will ruin the taste of the coffee you are about to make.saturday, 9:25am: make 12 cups of coffee. four of these are for your husband when he finally wakes up, the other eight are for you.saturday, 9:30am: boot your computer up. not your old trusty mac, but the new pc laptop you had to buy because the translation tools you need to use don't work on macs. hope you're doing it right, because you have no idea how to work windows 8.saturday, 9:35am: read through the 568 forum posts your classmates have left in the last two days. scream obscenities in your head. stop reading after about 20.saturday, 10:00am: tell yourself you have two hours to translate 750 words. tell yourself that you have to work consistently through those two hours with no social media distraction. start translating "selig tiene luz verde en MLB".saturday, 10:17am: check twitter on your phone. lose track of where you are in the spanish article.saturday, 10:21am: resume translating.saturday, 10:52am: make it almost to the end of your first hour without checking facebook. wonder how many mutual friends you and your work friend have. get sucked into looking through a wedding album of someone you don't know.saturday, 11:08am: resume translating.saturday, 11:39am: check all of your social media for the two updates that have occurred in the last hour. wonder why more isn't happening, and then realize it's saturday morning.saturday, 11:44am: resume translating.saturday, 12:00pm: proofread your translation. become okay with the fact that you only translated 680 words, because you still meet your quota. decide not to watch the lectures from the past two weeks because you can do it later.sunday: okay, fine. watch one lecture online.monday: remember at 11:14pm that you haven't turned in your assignment yet. scramble to proofread it one more time and get it sent to your professor. hit send and immediately regret two-thirds of your word choices and wish you had spent more time on it.return to beginning and repeat for 10 weeks. celebrate at the end if you haven't lost your mind.
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