life lived thoughtfully. volume four.

i got in a car accident on thursday night and nothing happened to me.

i was on my way to meet a friend for a long-overdue tea, and while i was starting to move again after being at a standstill on the highway, my car was rammed from behind by two other cars, the final piece in a three-car sandwich. but nothing happened to me.

the car behind me, the one in the middle, no longer had a back bumper and the front bumper was completely cracked and shattered, while my back fender merely suffered two scratches. but nothing happened to me.

the first car, the one that came barreling down the highway into a line of cars standing still, the one that was being driven by a girl two years younger than myself, that car was totaled, the front completely crumpling in on itself and rendering it unable to be driven. but nothing happened to me.

the girl driving that first car, based on how fast she was going and how sudden the impact was, was surely on her phone leading up to the impact, and was lucky to be alive and walking around, because we've all seen what happens in the commercials imploring us to put our phones down. but nothing happened to me.

how did nothing happen to me? that's all i could think as i drove my car away, unscathed. and it made me realize, we don't always know why things happen or don't happen to us, at least not right away. sometimes the "why" isn't always ours to know at the time of the happening. sometimes it's not ours to know for a very, very long time.

i've been thinking a lot about THE PLAN lately. that greater plan that we feel like we should have control over, but we actually don't have any control over. you know the one. i've said it before and i'll say it again - i don't do well with not knowing the plan. patience is a virtue i am still fighting to possess, and the phrase "give me grace" is always in my prayers. because i want to just KNOW the plan and then make it happen for myself! is that too much to ask?

i am constantly fighting to trust that His plan is better than mine. that His plans are so big that i can't possibly begin to imagine what He has in store for me. because why would i ever be chosen to do great things when there are so many others that could do it better? i have a hard time imagining what i could bring to the table that someone else couldn't.

and then i remember this wisdom:

it doesn't matter that i don't yet understand the "why". my understanding isn't important at this time. placing my trust in Him and the plan He has for me is the important thing. deep down i know that if i trust the life and the gifts i have been given, i will do great things. it's true that nothing happened to me in that accident; but there is so much still waiting for me ahead.

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