always say yes to the coffee.

if you’re new here, you might not know that i’ve been pregnant and raising tiny babies for a solid portion of the last four years. if you’re not new here, then you are very aware because during that solid portion of time, this blog has basically become a pregnant journal for myself.

it’s not news to anyone that the growing and keeping of small humans takes a LOT of energy. like, so much energy. maybe all the energy you have and then some. it’s something that i’m used to now, but somehow also continues to surprise me on a regular basis. and with the impending arrival of baby number three, i’ve been thinking about how the heck i’ve managed to survive up to this point.

i’ve come to the conclusion that i’ve survived because i learned to always say yes to the coffee.

yes, on some level you can interpret that literally, coffee has kept me alive on too many days to count. but what i mean by “always say yes to the coffee” is that i’ve learned to always say yes when people offer to help me. too often, moms feel that they should be able to handle everything on their own, like they shouldn’t need to accept help from anyone. there’s a feeling that if they accept the help, they’re somehow less of a mom. or that they aren't deserving of any extra help they might be offered, no matter how big or small it may be. 

i reject this idea that by accepting help, i am less of a mom. when my mom offered to come stay with us after Amelia was born, i said yes. i was fed, the laundry got done, i got to take a nap and a bath every day, and i was still one hell of a first-time mom. when my parents and in-laws would offer to take Amelia for a night or two after William was born, i said yes. Mister Man and i got quality time together, we got a break from the overwhelming chaos of two kids, and i was still one hell of a mom. and every time that someone has come to visit me and the babies and they have offered to bring me a coffee, i have accepted with gratitude and enthusiasm.

because while my first instinct is to say “no, don’t spend the money on me, i’m fine”, the truth is that the coffee will truly make my day better. it will make me feel happy and awake and i get to share it with a friend. and so if someone is offering coffee, i say yes and accept the help it brings. it's such a little thing that makes such a big impact. 

there are times in your life when you will need to be the one helping out another mom or friend or family member. but there are times when you need to be the one to accept the help. because when you don't accept the help, you cannot be your best self. when you try to do it all by yourself, even when help is being offered, you are stretched thinner than you should be, you become a shell of yourself. and if you are not your best self, you are not going to be the amazing mom/daughter/friend/wife/etc. that you are meant to be.

saying yes to the coffee whenever it's been offered to me has made all the difference in who i am as a mom. it has renewed my energy and given me what i need to keep going and be my best self for my family. and it has made me want to be the one offering coffee and any other help i can give to others. so this is my advice to you, whoever you are that needs to hear it today:

say yes to the coffee. it will make all the difference. 

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