to reveal or not to reveal.

we got to see little baby z. today! it was our 20-week appointment and ultrasound, and now i want the next 20 weeks to hurry the heck up so i can squeeze the crap out of our little munchkin. the struggle is real.i've already mentioned that we're waiting to find out baby z.'s gender until that little mouse enters the world. for better or for worse, that's what Mister Man and i decided would be the best decision for us at this point in our lives. what i didn't mention is that the decision-making process was not an easy one, because we actually started out on different sides of the fence.maybe not so surprisingly, i was the one who wanted to find out if we were having a boy or a girl in the beginning. it's no secret that i am a fanatical planner. if i can start finding solutions for a problem that is months away, i'll do it. i've already started researching nannies for january 2015. the planning isn't all bad, because it cuts down on a fair amount of stress that would otherwise rear its ugly head when last minute issues arise, but i'm the first to admit that it can sometimes get out of hand. i thought that i NEEDED to find out what we were having in order to keep my sanity.and then my loving husband told me that he thought waiting to find out would be special. and my brain exploded. my organized, structured, engineer husband wanted to be surprised. and so the next/only logical step was a pros/cons list. that's what everyone does when making big life decisions, right? that's what i thought.turns out the only pro to finding out the gender for me was that knowing would keep me from imagining both options and from being momentarily disappointed when it inevitably WASN'T one of them. not exactly a strong argument. especially when the arguments for waiting made so much more sense - getting gender neutral clothes so we can use them for other kids, receiving practical gifts instead of lots of gender-specific ones, an extra incentive to make it to the end of the delivery. i basically saw the light.and after all that, here we are, fresh out of our ultrasound, with no temptation to find out if we're having a little erin or little Mister Man. just the cutest picture of our child (not that i'm biased), and we couldn't be happier. let me tell you, this is going to be one of the easiest decisions you'll make in your whole pregnancy, so take it easy on yourself and don't overthink it. the tough questions come when you start talking about how to diaper your baby, and what to do for childcare, and oh my goodness don't get me started on the highchair question. (sidenote: i've been asked quite a bit if i've had any dreams about which gender the baby is, and the answer is no. i WISH that i had any type of feeling at all on this, but i just don't! i think it's because i've decided to not find out, so i'm subconsciously blocking that intuition from my brain. however, if i have a crazy baby dream, you better believe i will tell you about it here.)

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