can't write, too busy running to the loo.

i don't know why i wrote "loo" instead of "restroom", "bathroom", or just "too busy having to pee". "running to the loo" just sounds more refined i guess? less trashy? more british? i wanted this post about pee to sound cute? i don't know.

[in between bathroom breaks.]

turns out that whole thing about pregnant women having to pee all the time, that's for real. i found that out real good this week. my already small bladder has shrunk three sizes, the opposite of the grinch's heart on christmas morning. yesterday i had to go three times before i left for work. today i woke up at 5:00am and never went back to sleep. i just waited for my next trip to the bathroom.my days now are just comprised of activities that i fit in between bathroom breaks. any outing is either timed so that i can be back home in time for the next one, or planned so that i know with great certainty that there will be facilities available to me to use. i know the location and proximity of the restrooms in every target, menards, home depot, coffee shop & grocery store within a 5 mile radius of home.be right back.okay, back. pretty sure i hadn't consumed any liquid since my last break, so biologically speaking, i'm not sure where my body is even finding anything else to expel from my body. does anyone have the science to explain this to me?where was i again? oh yea, talking about my tiny pregnant bladder (dad, is this entire blog post making you uncomfortable? if so, just think about all the other terrible things about pregnancy i could have chosen to write about and you should feel better!).here are the things i can't do anymore now that my bladder is the size of an acorn:

• spend more than 20 minutes on the elliptical at the gym
• act like i'm not having a panic attack in the mall when i can't find a bathroom
• make it through my workout dvd without pausing
• sit through a meeting at work that lasts longer than an hour
• watch a tv show all the way through
• sleep through the night

i'm only 23 weeks pregnant, so i know i'm just at the beginning of this stage, and i've got a long way to go before it's over. i've even heard that i get to look forward to someone actually KICKING my bladder once they get big enough for that - i'm looking at you baby z., and hear me now, i will not suffer silently through that madness. i will not.this would all be a lot easier if i could survive without consuming any water to sustain myself and the baby. someone invent that please? or tell me it's okay to just live in the loo?

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